If I could just hear your voice things would be so much easier.
All of my guessing would come to an end
and I would then know exactly where my purpose begins.
Not much to ask for one would probably say,
but perhaps those are the very ones you speak to everyday.
A whisper, a laugh or nudge in the night--
I would give anything to hear you say “there’s no secret to my delight”.

Uphold my commands you say and stand humbly before me.
Use caution to pray always and don’t forget to pray with fervency.
In all thy ways acknowledge me by abiding in the Word of truth.
Read it, meditate on it and never let it depart from you.

I understand all of your instructions and appreciate every word you say,
but how does one battle to do these things when flesh stands in the way.
Fast and pray I have done and longer than I anticipated.
However after all was said and done I am still not feeling completely liberated.

Your voice is just as distant in addition to a renewed war in my mind.
I wander to and fro to get a sense of what I didn’t do right this time.
Did I not forgive as I should have or grieve you by some other sin?
If I could only hear your voice to silence the battle being waged within.

It’s like torture not knowing if what is being thought about is coming from you
or just a sick mind game being played by the enemy.
My thoughts are no longer my own, so I stopped short of being confident in prayer.
The nemesis of faith grips me daily to the point of grabbing hold of busyness
to be reminded less of a life plagued by prayer incompetence.
Life without you speaking? What a miserable state to be in!

If I could just hear your voice things would be so much easier.
Do you hear me? I’m still listening.

(© 2010 Tanya Steward – All rights reserved. Written material may not be duplicated without permission.)

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